[ But she's won. He hates himself for being so weak, and he hates her for making use of him when she could have just saved them both by calling her gods-damned mate, isn't that what mates are supposed to be for--
He takes her hand. And from him, the synchrony flares up like a wildfire, because it's never just the synchrony, it's that power he has that he only knows how to control by cutting it off entirely, and it roars.
There's nothing joyful in what he offers, nothing welcoming, because if she's cornered him into this, she gets what she gets. Him making it easy on her would have been helping her get to someone who wasn't him. It's isolation and guilt and crushing despair and the dragging weight of exhaustion, it's the frustration of needing to be alone and simultaneously hating his own loneliness, of wishing all of it would cease, that he could cease, that-- ]
When I fall.
[ And this, at least, he will give her, what she asked for. The precious seconds of nothingness, of no thoughts or feelings as the wind tears water from his eyes, the glory of having given himself wholly into the mercy of the firmament, the hope that he will never land. ]
no subject
[ But she's won. He hates himself for being so weak, and he hates her for making use of him when she could have just saved them both by calling her gods-damned mate, isn't that what mates are supposed to be for--
He takes her hand. And from him, the synchrony flares up like a wildfire, because it's never just the synchrony, it's that power he has that he only knows how to control by cutting it off entirely, and it roars.
There's nothing joyful in what he offers, nothing welcoming, because if she's cornered him into this, she gets what she gets. Him making it easy on her would have been helping her get to someone who wasn't him. It's isolation and guilt and crushing despair and the dragging weight of exhaustion, it's the frustration of needing to be alone and simultaneously hating his own loneliness, of wishing all of it would cease, that he could cease, that-- ]
When I fall.
[ And this, at least, he will give her, what she asked for. The precious seconds of nothingness, of no thoughts or feelings as the wind tears water from his eyes, the glory of having given himself wholly into the mercy of the firmament, the hope that he will never land. ]
I'm free.