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[voidgates]

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SUMMER ICARIAN ✦ FINAL FANTASY XIV (WoL OC)
RESIDENCE ✦ Residency
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby

"...ltros, what are you doing with that, put that down right now you little —"

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ EXTRA

Comments

[bloodwhet]

it was why it was different, i think. To perform synchrony with G'raha. It was the same as always at first. All pasts and futures. And then i remembered.

i was angry with him, when we returned from the ocean. my him. Angrier than i have been with anyone. Because he brought you to fight for me, because i was too weak. When i did not know if i was strong enough to protect you.

but i remembered that it was you. For this him it was you. You were the one who was in the ocean. And he brought me to you. So that i could fight for you, when you needed me.

and that was when it changed.

1/2

[voidgates]

[There's a lot to unpack here, and there'll be time to do it piece by piece, but there's at least one thing about this commentary that her attention goes straight to first.]

you were mad at him because of me?

[voidgates]

...because he put me in danger

because for all you knew doing that might just have been bringing me to die alongside you

[bloodwhet]

it was worse. Then. the light. I could not keep you safe. Not from anything. Not from me.

[voidgates]

were you angry with me?

the other me
your me

[bloodwhet]

a little. Less angry, than with him. Scared. Ashamed.

i did not want you there.
you should not have been there.

[voidgates]

is

[She has to think about this one for a minute. Careful. Uncertain.]

is the light what makes it different

because i was the one who had it when you were brought to me
but you were the one who had it when i was brought to you

[bloodwhet]

it is. It is him. That makes it different.

when you had the light, he wanted to protect you. I think he wanted to protect you. he wanted to protect Summer who thinks that landing is worth falling and whose clothes smell like burnt instead of like ink.
when I had it. he wanted to protect a person who he had made up. he wanted to protect Marcel who would let Summer be hurt. and I am Marcel, who does not want that. and I do not like Marcel who would let Summer be hurt. I think he is a bad Marcel and that he does not exist. And I do not like people who like him.

[voidgates]

i understand
when it was me you both wanted the same thing

he wanted you there to keep me safe
and you wanted you there to keep me safe
and i wanted you there to keep me safe too

but when it was you, you wanted different things
he wanted summer there to help you
and you wanted her far away

and he got his way and you didn't

[bloodwhet]

yes.

i did not want you there. where you might be hurt. where i might hurt you.

and there are a lot of people who do not care what i want. i am not angry with them. but he does care what i want. and he put you in danger anyway.

[voidgates]

and you still had to fight hades while feeling like that...

bad enough to have to do it at all
but to do it while angry at the exarch and worried about me

that must have been terrible to have to go through

[bloodwhet]

i did not like it.

but it is over now. and you are safe. and now there is another you, who is not safe. But I can be there to make her safer.

[voidgates]

and there's a g'raha here who made the right choice
the choice that you wanted

and so you feel comfortable with him

[bloodwhet]

yes.

i do not dislike the one i know. i am not angry anymore. but this one
you needed me, and he made it so that i was there to keep you safe.

and I know he did not do that for me.
but it is all that I wanted, and he did it.

i think that is why it works better. the perfomance of synchrony.

[voidgates]

aye
because there isn't that disagreement
no dissonance

so making manna means finding people that you have that sort of understanding with
that alignment

and once you do you'll be achieving your pail list goal

[bloodwhet]

i see.

if i find people who think that you are important. then it will work.

[voidgates]

to start with

but
you should also find people who agree with you on other things

you might not even need to know that you agree first
maybe you'll find them and realize it only after the synchrony works

and then you'll have learned something new about yourself too

[bloodwhet]

oh. So I can learn what other people's important things are. And if they are the same as mine, it will work.

and then i will know what to look for, once i learn.

[voidgates]

that's right

when you and i synch it's not because we both think i'm important
i think it's that we're both happy we're together again

and if you were to synch with obsidian i don't think it would be because i'm important either
it would be something else for just the two of you

[bloodwhet]

[ No response, because he has nodded at his phone in response and phones don't respect nodding. ]

[voidgates]

[ And then, after a period of time: ]

i'm guessing you just nodded at your tomestone

so
i think that's a good goal for you to have
the one about making manna

i'm excited to hear your stories about going about it

[bloodwhet]

oh. yes.

[ Just like he always nods at linkpearls and everyone but Summer gets exasperated about it. ]

i will tell you what happens. rolanberry says that it works to fuck and not make friends. so i will try that if having important things is not enough.

[voidgates]

rolanberry would know

would that make you happy though?
to fuck and not make friends?

[bloodwhet]

obsidian asked the same thing.

i do not think it would make me happy, but it would not make me sad. it would just be. i think i can make friends as well, just not with the people who i fuck. and then i would not need to have friends for manna. i could just have them for friends.

it would not be much different from the way things are normally.

[voidgates]

as long as it's still something you want to do

if it starts to feel like something you have to do
or that this place is making you do
then you and i can produce manna together until it doesn't feel that way anymore

that can be my way of keeping you safe
is that all right?