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Summer Icarian ([personal profile] voidgates) wrote2000-06-04 12:55 am
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TEXTAUDIOVIDEOACTION
SUMMER ICARIAN ✦ FINAL FANTASY XIV (WoL OC)
RESIDENCE ✦ Residency
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby


"...ltros, what are you doing with that, put that down right now you little —"
basura_boi: (o fuck)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-27 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
'course I want to hear these stories. [ He's grumbling, though it's about half for show. After Summer and G'raha both assiduously avoiding telling him such things before, he has to wonder what has changed.

Though the way she puts it, G'raha building an entire city for her... well, that's a lot of implication. Obviously he already knew they were mates and the like, but... well, damn.

His lips twitch to a humorless smile at G'raha saying such stories upset people. ]


Don't have much left to be scared or upset about.

[ It's something he's said to Summer several times, though not, he supposes, to G'raha. But, with nothing to go back to but, he supposes, the aetherial sea even if he were returned to Eorzea... what really matters anymore? What could G'raha even tell him that would be more upsetting than what the Calamity had done to his entire village in an instant? Than his own worthless death?

Fucking nothing, basically.

His ears flick back at the question, though. ]


"Normal" 's a funny word. Means a lot of different things.

[ Cautious, still. Always cautious. He's not sure what G'raha's asking, what the man knows. What has made him decide that there should be fewer secrets, what that even means.

But it's that last, that If we are yours, which leaves him speechless, staring at G'raha wide-eyed. The part of him that is dragon--quite a lot of him at the moment--smiles internally with smug, warm satisfaction. Damn right the both of you are.

But he is not wholly the dragon, and the part of him that is Ezar feels the same like a cold shock, alarm and fear and confusion and... hope, perhaps. What keeps him from simply fleeing the bathroom in a furtive instant is a combination of the dragon's weight and his own disbelief that surely, he cannot mean it like that, I am misunderstanding. Still, he draws his hand back from Summer like he's been burned before he freezes up entirely, fighting duel desires to curl in protectively on himself and curl around the both of them.

It's the dragon that choose the words; it's Ezar that turns them from firm statement to soft question. ]


You are?
misunderhood: (🏹 you call me a freak)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-27 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ In truth G'raha says it without thinking, the playfulness of the vulpine side spilling out as he speaks. But it is not a lie that he spoke it at all. Instead, he remembers too late how Ezar doesn't seem to want to be a part of any one or any thing - and his worry is struck true when Ezar draws back from the Synch.

He doesn't leave, though, and instead looks at them, G'raha thinking he looks almost wounded, before he speaks again. Though G'raha has been resting in the bath up until this point, he finally moves to step out, his movements careful and deliberate. ]


If you would have us.

[ After a moment he looks to Summer, who is sitting on the floor still, his head tilting a little bit. ]

No one is an object, or something to be controlled. But Summer and I care for each other. And once... she fought a man who would have killed me, and her, for touching me at all. And it is perhaps not untrue to say I fought time itself to save her.

[ He looks back to Ezar. ]

I did it because I cared about her. I did not even know if she loved me at all, but I knew I could not go on without her. Which is not to say you must welcome gestures as grand as that, but that... I know I care for you. That I already find myself worrying for you as I worry for her, when she leaps from towers.

So we could be yours. We do not have to be, but I would welcome it all the same.
Edited 2022-06-27 23:42 (UTC)
basura_boi: (o fuck)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-28 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's so much, all at once. After death, after coming to this place, it's already been so much for him to have a friend, then more than one friend, then to have anyone outside his own head know anything about him, let alone several. It's so much, to go from those tentative, stumbling steps of trying to figure out how to connect with other people after a decade of complete self-isolation to having two people speak to him so. To go from nothing but exhausted, depressed numbness and constant fear to... this.

It's too much. Too many emotions to sort out or understand all at once. With a soft gasp he does fold in on himself, face pressed against his knees, arms wrapped protectively over his head, a ridiculously childish posture for a grown man, let alone one who's currently seven fulms tall and half dragon. He can feel himself shaking again, and he can't seem to stop it, another deeply embarrassing thing. Yet it is a sign of trust, however unwitting, that he reacts to feeling so disoriented and frightened not by lashing out in anger, which has always been his defensive habit, but by letting his fear be seen.

At least from the dark safety of hiding behind his own wings, he can attempt to speak. His voice is muffled, small, his adopted accent shattered and scattered from his control and he's so overwrought he doesn't even notice. ]


I don't know. I don't know what I want. [ He makes a small, despairing sound that might be a laugh turned on its side. ] I spent so much time trying not to want anything because it's--it's dangerous to want things.

I'm sorry. [ He's not even certain what he's apologizing for, but he feels he ought to again, for what he can only assume is another moment of disappointing others that he desperately wishes to not disappoint. ] I'm sorry. I don't want anything to ever hurt either of you and I want you to be happy--and I'm sorry.
misunderhood: (we know we're not the same)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-28 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ Were they not all so dramatic, G'raha could have simply said that yes, they could be Ezar's. That perhaps they should try having a meal together, instead of promising tales of time undone and cities built. But he had not, and so this is his responsibility.

He moves first, careful, stepping into the small space Ezar has made with his wings. He still has Summer's hand on his thigh. This time, he gently places his hand nearby Ezar's foot.

He's careful, for now, not to touch him. He knows how overwhelming Synchrony can be and so he lets Ezar have the privacy of his thoughts and feelings, but leaves the offer of his hand if Ezar needs it. ]


Shh. It's okay.

[ He gives a soft laugh, his voice as even as he can make it. ]

There is nothing for you to apologize for. Not having an answer is certainly not one either.

Instead... I would be happy to find out if it is something you want? Something we can discover together. It need not be more complicated than that.

[ Since he is now the one between Ezar and Summer, he uses his other hand to reach down, curling his fingers into Summer's. ]
basura_boi: (o fuck)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-28 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ Summer bids him to breathe and he does, pathetically grateful for one thing he can do that is simple and not so emotionally loaded. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut and breathes like his was taught to do so many years ago, breathing the world in and himself out until his borders become less distinct and his distress seems small in comparison to the vast sea of life around him.

It isn't that it doesn't matter, but it's comforting to know that the world doesn't feel as easily, foolishly fragile as he does. It allows the tremors to work themselves from his shoulders and hands until he is still, and breathing, and not at peace, exactly, but no longer completely overwhelmed.

He relaxes slowly, one muscle at a time, until he lets his arms drop down, until he brushes his fingers hesitantly over G'raha's hand. Already so poorly controlled, the synch is instinctive, as is the soft outflow of aether, for once seeking rather than offering comfort. The dregs of his panic still flutter through him, but he is listening, breathing, attempting to simply be instead of tying himself in knots. ]


Sorry. [ He knows G'raha said not to apologize, but he still feels he ought to, from behind the shield of his knees. ] I don't know how...

[ He turns his head just enough to look at Summer, peering at her from under the mess that's become of his hair.

It had already felt like such an enormous step, to him, when they'd been on the island, when he'd sat with G'raha and Summer in that hut after willingly speaking even one of his lesser secrets to him. That he'd cried on Summer's shoulder. That he'd been bold enough to intrude on their sleep. In a way, it's good to have it affirmed that those things were welcome. To have it affirmed again, in what he picks up empathically by either connection, that this is no lie nor trick, that there is genuine affection (is that the right word for it?) of a sort he's not felt directed toward him before.

It's also fucking terrifying, like he edged one step forward into what he thought was a pond and suddenly found himself in water up to his cheekbones. And... mortifying, to find himself caught to off guard, so far behind, so ignorant of how to interact with others while he's still trying to even sort out if he should, if he could.

But an adventure, perhaps, as Summer said. A journey. He'd once wanted that, desperately, so much that he'd left his home behind for it, to everyone's detriment. Perhaps this sort of thing will end in a similarly soul-shattering disaster. But he still longs for it, still feels that secret heart urge him yes.

And every adventure starts with a single step, and that isn't so terrible, is it? ]


Please, just one step at a time. Please.
Edited 2022-06-28 04:38 (UTC)
misunderhood: (the ghost that haunts you)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-28 08:14 am (UTC)(link)
One step at a time. I promise.

[ It is a promise to both Ezar and a reminder to himself that he should be more patient, that he should pick his words with more care. Lyna would shake her head at him to see him being so dramatic again, he knows she would.

The synch is, of course, easy to share his feelings with. He projects warmth and understanding, showing Ezar that he's not hurt at all by anything he's said. And there's a tinge of apology as well, for the fact that he did not pace himself.

He squeezes both their hands - Summer and Ezar's - again, his tails flicking behind him, much like his tail would when it is happy.

He lets Ezar have some time to breathe before he speaks again, his tone deceptively light again. ]


Would you still like to hear our story? I meant what I said - tis no maliciousness that kept it from you before.
basura_boi: (sadness)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-28 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[ One step at a time. He can do that. One step, and then another, and then the third might be easier still. But he only has to think about one step at a time instead of the sheer enormity of... everything G'raha and Summer were saying.

He will no doubt be ashamed about this later, for how pathetic he is in this moment, driven to near hysterics by two people being affectionate toward him and thinking better of him than he does of himself. But for now he is grateful, holding the cup of water like it's a lifeline and not like he ought to be drinking it.

And more grateful still, for what Summer offers. An even easier decision yet; all he has to do is trust her. All he has to do is let her be the sky and give himself over to the fall.

He raises his head enough to look at her and bobs his head in a little nod. Yes, please. ]
misunderhood: (✨ the less that you give)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-28 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Before we get into the telling of stories, might I suggest a more comfortable locale?

[ He gives Ezar's hand another squeeze, projecting warmth and fondness. ]

You'll be able to stretch out those wings if we rest in the living room.

[ he'd normally suggest the bedroom but - he doesn't want to give Ezar the wrong impression. If Summer wants to suggest it, he won't stop her.

Either way, he waits for Ezar to finish his water before he helps him down, and starts to move them somewhere more comfortable. Wherever they end up, he'll sit down first and indicate they should sit with him. ]
basura_boi: (Default)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-28 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ezar follows G'raha with his head down and his shoulders hunched, a combination of residual stress and embarrassment. But he's still horribly, horribly grateful to have clear, simple things he can do, things that he doesn't have to think about, things that have no greater implications and require no answers. Follow G'raha. Sit with G'raha. Wait for Summer.

Ezar starts out leaning against G'raha a little awkwardly, but when Summer joins them he finally just gives in to the dragon-urge and moves to lay down, curling protectively around both of them--ridiculous, when he's been such a mess, but instinct is instinct--so that he ends up with his head in G'raha's lap, careful to not poke the man with his horns, chest against his back, legs against Summer's back, and his tail wrapped fully around Summer's waist. Only then does he fully relax, arms and wings sprawled out comfortably.

He mumbles against G'raha's leg: ]
Said your kitchen was haunted.
misunderhood: light the way / mikky ekko (✨ feel like a creep)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-28 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Perfect for making some sandwiches later, maybe.

[ He answer Summer smoothly as she sits back down, letting Ezar arrange himself until he's comfortable as he can be. As soon as he is, G'raha reaches down to stroke his fingers through Ezar's hair, teasing the rolanberry colored strands between his fingers. He leans his head against Summer's, resting his cheek on top of her head. ]

Haunted by the spirits of my past, maybe.

[ He says it lightly, and after a moment he clears his throat. He briefly explains how Summer and he had met - the research expedition at the Crystal Tower. He spoke of Xanda, Unei and Doga, and how he had come to be in possession of two Allagan eyes instead of just one.

He glances to Summer as he explains that he had sealed himself in the tower, confident that he would only wake when humanity was strong enough to open its doors and be worthy of the technology within ... ]


That was not, however, the situation I found myself waking up to.

[ He details the experiences he had in the timeline of the eighth umbral calamity, of working with the Ironworks. Of a world that wanted the Warrior of Light back, and how he could not bear to live in a world that Summer's life had ended early in. He explains the reflections of the Source, and how they had determined the First had caused the Eighth Umbral. ]

I... with the permission, I suppose, of some of its people. I took the Crystal Tower from that timeline and abandoned them. I took the device back with me to the First. My aim was not as true as I had hoped, and I arrived 100 years before the Calamity actually happened on the First.

[ Again he details his work. The planning of an entire city, based on Old Sharlayan but also in consideration of how Summer might see it. How he sought to work trade with the Tribes of the First - not just because they were people, but because they had always been the people that Summer took to most easily. And he needed her to care for the place he would ask her to protect, because he could not give her G'raha Tia to protect in its place.

He speaks of his plan as well. To ask her to take the Light into her, and then take it away and seal himself in the void between worlds. How that was always intended to be his goal.

He stops when he mentions his first attempts at bringing her in, glancing to Summer to see if she would like to offer the story from her perspective instead. ]
basura_boi: (042)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-29 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ezar breathes out a contented sigh at the feeling of G'raha's fingers in his hair. The tip of his tail slowly moves against Summer's stomach, an idle, unthinking caress as he listens, eyes half-closed.

He does not move or react much more than making the occasional murmur to indicate that he's listening until Summer mentions Ala Mhigo. The name of the place hits him like a shock, his tail stilling, fingers of one hand curling into a fist against G'raha's back. But all he says, a murmur that's not really directed at anyone, is: ]


Ah, so we won at Ala Mhigo. They're free. It was worth it, after all.

[ He may not have saved anyone personally, but he contributed to that victory in his own small way. The thought is more than he's ever had. Some meaning to take from his death, some small measure of peace it grants him that resonates in what threads of synchronicity there are.

And there's levity, at least, in learning more of G'raha. Of being able to return to an older, gentle mockery. And with his panic and anxiety receded now, he remembers himself, the way he's supposed to speak with that thick accent, and it's enough of a habit even around G'raha and Summer still. ]


So what I've learned of G'raha is that he can't bleedin' aim and when he does he snatches people up out of their clothes.

[ He smiles against the man's leg. In a strange way, with all the ludicrous amount of power being spoken up, the deeds of import, that makes G'raha feel more like a person and less like someone he ought to assiduously avoid out of self-protection.

The continuation of the story draws him back to silence. He's aware of Zenos, hates him with the passion of a soldier that's seen the destruction he's left behind and tried, inadequately, to pick up the pieces. He certainly can't blame Summer for wishing to escape the man; many would have liked to be able to and never had the chance. ]
misunderhood: (✨ the less that you give)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-29 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ G'raha is reminded of the first time he wandered into Ezar's dreams - the thick smoke and smell of blood and ceruleum in the streets of Ala Mhigo. So when he says they won, he strokes his fingers against his scalp. ]

They did, and you helped.

[ But it's the only comment he gives Ezar for the moment. Then the comment about his aim and he gives a soft indignant sound. ]

I would ask either of you to use an untested magic and to aim it precisely where you wanted it. In truth... I am not as skilled a mage as Summer or Y'shtola Rhul. What I lacked in finesse, I made up for in the amount of power I could draw from the Tower.

[ And he sighs. ]

The best way I could protect Summer was to convince her to stay on the First. Should she come to blows on the Source with Zenos and win, she would force the Emperor's hand in using Black Rose.

[ He details, again, his request to have her absorb the Light after she found her compatriots. But then he pauses. ]

She began visiting me, after defeating the first Lightwarden. I assumed, at first, it had to do with my concealed identity. I could also tell the aether was roiling within her. And yet she did not ask for relief or pry about who I was. She simply ... asked me to speak with her, and tell her stories.
Edited 2022-06-29 00:27 (UTC)
basura_boi: (Default)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-29 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's a strange reminder, that G'raha has seen that recurring nightmare of his, of the battle, of his useless death. He wonders what the man has taken from it, what conclusions he's come to. But to ask feels too self-indulgent... and too raw. It's another truth he's never spoken aloud, and he still has no desire to. What difference would it make, to any of them?

The only further comment Ezar makes about Ala Mhigo is in answer to Summer, a quiet: ]
Aye, I was.

[ The rest, he listens to like the story it is, because it sounds very much like fantasy. His tail resumes it's slow, steady motion against Summer's side. He sighs. ]

Sounds like a lovely place. Somewhere no one has to hide, mayhap. I'd've liked to see it.
misunderhood: light the way / mikky ekko (✨ feel like a creep)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-29 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ She looks at him, arch - and he looks at her with a lopsided smile, a fond one, reminiscent of his days as the Exarch. In that moment it's clear how much he cherishes the memories of their time on the first, even if he is not quite the same man who spent one hundred years waiting for her.

He looks down at Ezar, after. ]


One day, you may. Without the need to have someone drag you across the space between stars, perhaps... several of our number left precious people behind. My granddaughter, for one. I should be happy to see her again if we discover how to cross between shards.

[ His fingers twist and curl into Ezar's hair, then gently uncurl and smooth out the patterns he's made with his fingers. ]

There was, of course, a flaw in the plan to have her gather Light. And that was that we were working against an organization that wanted nothing other than to rejoin the shards together for their own people.

[ Gingerly, he tells what he knows of Emet-Selch and the Ascians. The Ancients, and how their star was sundered because they had sought to sacrifice the life of their planet to bring back their own people. There's a pause before he speaks that the person who sundered it was Hydaelyn Herself, in opposition to Zodiark. That Hydaelyn had once been an ancient herself.

He doesn't draw the parallels of primals, but anyone with a working knowledge would know to. ]


When the time came for me to play my part, acting as if I would take Summer's aether and leave, I unwittingly revealed myself. And after I had done so, Emet-Selch stopped me.

[ Here he pauses. Emet's reasoning for doing so was his knowledge of time travel - yet he still did not quite believe the reasoning now, knowing all that he did. Emet had had a hand in Allag through Fandaniel, where the bulk of his knowledge came from. It is as if only now he considers that Emet may have intended to die all along. ]

I don't know what I expected but I was still surprised, after all that had happened, when Summer came after me.
basura_boi: (Default)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-29 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ One day, you may, G'raha says. It is almost enough to prod him into reluctantly telling another secret. But things have only just calmed down. He's only just calmed down. He doesn't want to. And it doesn't matter.

So Ezar makes himself smile like he believes G'raha. ]


Mayhap I will.

[ I'll never go home. And once, it hadn't bothered him to think that. He hadn't really had anything waiting for him. But now there is that thread of sadness, that he hopes some day G'raha and Summer will find their way home, and knows it will not be a place he can follow. And if they look for him--if they even are from the same Eorzea as him, a different question entirely--all they'll find is a name on a memorial, if that.

But that is a problem for another day. He'd rather listen to their story than dwell on something so immutable.

This explains, then, the person who had hurt her so terribly--and G'raha as well. Though the conclusion seems to be that she'd already seen him to justice. Though... dead people showed up here all the time; Ezar himself was proof of that. His tail tip flicks a bit harder for a moment and he says, a distinct growl for all its quiet: ]


Ever shows his face around here, he won't live long to regret it.

[ That's really all that needs to be said about that. Though he is glad, to know this grand conclusion. For all that G'raha had emphasized the selfishness in the story when it was the start, it's as fine a romance as he's ever read, and all the better because he knows the people involved and can be happy for them. ]
misunderhood: light the way / mikky ekko (✨ feel like a creep)

[personal profile] misunderhood 2022-06-29 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ G'raha laughs, a little, when Ezar says he'll regret it - if only because he's aware Emet has come and gone at least once, and may still be present. Alongside, possibly, Gaius Baelsar, a man he personally had trouble forgiving.

Were it not for the Garleans, Corvos would be in a different situation. As would Summer's tribe.

It's also melancholic, to hear her talk of Amarout. To know in the future she also visits Elpis, a research facility he'd heard her call beautiful. To know the people that hurt her before Zodiark had sunk their claws into them.

He's sad, for that. It seeps into the synchrony, but he's careful not to reveal the why.

He speaks again, slowly. Talking of the fact that the scions had not returned home. How G'raha had been told not to sacrifice himself for their sake, and so he sought Beq-Lugg's help in fashioning a way for them to transport across the rift with Summer. How that had attracted the attention of the last Ascian, Elidibus. Zodiark's heart, he explained.

His fingers slow down a bit as he explains fashioning the soul vessel, the way the Scion's souls begun to weaken. And then when Elidibus had taken the vessel he'd fashioned for himself to control the tower, hastening the crystallization of G'raha's body.

His fingers have stopped moving when he speaks of his last moments, after Elidibus's defeat. ]


I do not remember dying. My last thoughts of the First are those preceding sealing my memories and part of my soul into the vessel, after Summer bade me remember her name.

We were not sure my younger self would accept the memories. And I did not wish to erase the young man who had originally sealed the tower away, either, for my older self. Fortune favored our faith that the two of us became one, instead.
basura_boi: (happy cat)

[personal profile] basura_boi 2022-06-29 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ All he can really do, as inadequate though it may be, is curl a bit more firmly around them both. He doesn't like to think of G'raha as dead, and he worries at that flash of emotion, however quickly suppressed, from Summer. And he wishes that it could be something he saves the both of them from, though he knows that, too, is an impossibility.

He smooths one hand over G'raha's leg, his other lightly touching Summer's back. He did not miss that word, our. But he can't help a soft chuckle. ]


Can't imagine it could be anything so world-shaking, aye?

[ Gods forbid. He would be useless. Though that thought, he does not voice. He simply smiles, his head still pillowed in G'raha's lap. Framed as an adventure, our adventure, it doesn't sound frightening at all. ]

The both of you need a break, at the least. And naught like that happening here, at any rate.

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